So, what do you do when you find your child’s mood swinging back and forth for no reason, or a holiday “funk” arrives at the most unexpected time OR, you’re finding that you are stuck and don’t know why? Well, while there may not always be an overnight cure, there are some fairly simple “overnight-ish” remedies… here’s just a few.
- Be introspective. (a bit like oxygen for you) to then share some with your child. Then, if and when possible, observe. In our excessively busy and over-scheduled days, there must be a point when you STOP and take the time to connect. Particularly at home, with your child. If they like to sit on the floor, sit on the floor with them. Place yourself physically, at their level rather than the other way around. That way you are entering their world not pulling them into yours. By doing so, it will be much easier to discover the things that are affecting them, both good and bad.
- Pay Attention. Do NOT follow the aforementioned steps, begin to participate in their world and then bring your smart phone along for company. Suffice it to say that the only focal point should be that of your child and the rapport, trust and consistent relationship you’ll be building in his/her world rather than the other way around.
- Believe it or not – you are laying a different kind of foundation with your child. While there is an inherent and organic trust between child and parent, this is a different kind of trust. It’s a trust earned by the parent that let’s your child know that you “get them” you “see them” just as they are. (thanks “AVATAR”) Not only does it diffuse their personal feelings of possible inferiority but it also assures them that you will find ways to communicate with them and meet them where they are no matter what. In turn, they feel safe, validated, heard and at ease that they are not “wrong”, “less than” or “lacking” and will feel more self-confident to try things that do not come as easily to them as it may for others. You will notice patterns of behavior based on their feelings and experiences throughout the day and you will also notice what their “go to” is to express their feelings. Colors, crayons, music, puzzles, words, stimming etc… but rather than it seeming random and frustrating, it will become more of a language between you and reveal what’s happening for them. They will also feel ok to share those forms of expressions with you if you show them and assure them that it’s allowed and welcome. They will start to feel comfortable in their own skin and appreciate the unique gifts they will discover about themselves much sooner! You will also begin to feel more connected as a parent in ways you may not have expected as well as in ways parents of “neuro-typical” kids aren’t even aware of!
- HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!
Your Sensory Designer & Color Expert!
Lauren S. Henry
Posted on December 15, 2011 at 10:06 pm by Lauren, your Sensory Design Specialist